Chickens And Cornflakes

March 3, 2010

in WTF

chicken and cornflakes Chickens And Cornflakes

{ 2 trackbacks }

emmalead's soup
June 29, 2010 at 2:01 pm
A little prophetic « The Megnacarta
September 3, 2010 at 12:38 am

{ 102 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Cathy April 8, 2010 at 2:33 pm

@ Villerdiller: He should write childrens books?????? His story is about rape and murder!!!!

2 lame April 9, 2010 at 2:41 pm

You ALL fail.
How did he write this with a character count reply limit? duh.

3 Special gyal... April 15, 2010 at 1:28 pm

the eggs we eat r infertile so no sperm needed

4 Cassandra April 17, 2010 at 2:08 pm

I wish I knew who this guy was!!!

5 alli April 18, 2010 at 1:34 pm

that was the best thing ive ever read in my life.

6 ross April 20, 2010 at 2:01 am

unlike you special gyal, you are filled with sperm

7 Demi April 26, 2010 at 1:59 pm

this is hilarious!! XD
some imagination!!! made me laugh so much haha

8 Special gyal April 29, 2010 at 1:42 pm

@ ross -wat makes you say that Ross?? :/

9 crmads April 30, 2010 at 8:52 pm

“chicken milk”??? i had no idea chicken had milk, lol
this guy is a psycho…quite an amusing writer…but definitely psycho O_o

10 ross May 4, 2010 at 2:12 am

because you spell your username wrong in context to special gal, dumb people do that, and dumb chicks are normlly filled with jizz

11 just checkin' May 5, 2010 at 4:29 pm

this is beast, no doubt.

12 NAOMI May 8, 2010 at 3:36 pm

LEGENDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13 destynie May 9, 2010 at 5:56 pm

i love him ! lmfao

14 John Koffee May 17, 2010 at 10:45 am

Well, this whole story really ended when he threw balls of chicken skin into the ocean. They wouldn’t have lasted 10 minutes, therefore no contact would have ever been made.

15 Crazy Indian Hobo May 18, 2010 at 6:44 pm

What got me is the Canada remark. Random lol

16 jessiey:) May 21, 2010 at 3:53 pm

hahaha! amazing shit right there ;)

17 Mitch Corbin June 3, 2010 at 4:05 pm

so much to say sooo much to say. First, miles, patrick mcclurg, you are both fucking idiots. and so is whoever said “what if none were roosters”. of course one is. he a genius you dumbass. hens can lay eggs w/o roosters anyway. but with roosters they just lay more. check mate. also,i didnt realize it was taking stuf from unforgiveable until somebody said it. lol nice. i tip my hat to you sir. and finaly, this person has officialy been accepted into The Hall of Epic Glory by me. so fuck the world ^_^

18 Chizzle June 5, 2010 at 8:07 am

@Mitch Corbin

He would probably need a rooster though because otherwise the chickens couldn’t reproduce and eventually they’d all die of old age.

19 Mitch Corbin June 5, 2010 at 12:24 pm

debateable……. jackhole

20 hanna June 10, 2010 at 4:41 am

this is soooo disturbing…guy needs a therapist

21 sam June 13, 2010 at 8:57 pm

you can’t milk a chicken…

22 F June 23, 2010 at 2:47 pm

Ha ha ha! I love how you guys are picking holes in the realism of his story!

23 SCOTT June 26, 2010 at 8:57 pm

TLTR!!

24 Jacob June 27, 2010 at 2:57 pm

@lame, there is no character limit on comments, fucktard

25 emma June 30, 2010 at 12:48 pm

What if there were no roosters?

26 SABA July 4, 2010 at 10:39 am

HILTERR..!!!!!

27 wow July 12, 2010 at 11:31 pm

It’s impossible to milk a chicken. They aren’t mammals and therefore don’t produce milk.

Oh, and that story is way fucked up. Whoever wrote that is sick.

28 Arlo Labreya July 12, 2010 at 11:51 pm

I would immediately kill the chickens, and then smoke the meat to preserve it. If I let them live, then they are using energy to stay alive. If I feed them the cornflakes, then they might convert some of that energy into eggs or to maintain their weight, but they are still burning energy. To be able to consume 100% of the energy available at the beginning, I would have to stop the chickens from wasting any of it.

From that point on, it is just a matter of rationing out the meat and the cornflakes.

29 Hey Mitch Corbin! July 13, 2010 at 2:48 am

Chickens dont lay fertilized eggs, thats why they need a rooster. and, no thy stop laying them while they care fo the clutch that are about to hatch.
dipshit.

30 Anon July 14, 2010 at 8:31 am

Terminology

In the UK and Ireland adult male chickens are primarily known as cocks, whereas in America, Canada and Australia they are better known as roosters. Males under a year old are cockerels.[5] Castrated roosters are called capons (though both surgical and chemical castration are now illegal in some parts of the world). Females over a year old are known as hens, and younger females are pullets.[6] In Australia and New Zealand (also sometimes in Britain), there is a generic term chook (pronounced /ˈtʃʊk/: rhymes with “book”) to describe all ages and both sexes.[7] Babies are called chicks, and the meat is called chicken.

“Chicken” was originally the word only for chicks, and the species as a whole was then called domestic fowl, or just fowl. This use of “chicken” survives in the phrase “Hen and Chickens”, sometimes used as a British public house or theatre name, and to name groups of one large and many small rocks or islands in the sea (see for example Hen and Chicken Islands).

31 Decky Pill July 15, 2010 at 7:05 pm

Hahahaha, F.. . . .Yup, why the hell nit-pick at a ‘story’. He’s hardly going fer the pulitzer here folks. What a fuckin’ piece of work, love it.

32 Steven July 24, 2010 at 12:36 am

I lol’ed. Hard.

33 Rory Calhoon July 25, 2010 at 6:00 am

Patrick McClurg is a Douche.

34 ali farhat July 29, 2010 at 1:12 am

what the author has written is support for the old adage that you should only write about those things you know. when a clutch of eggs hatches, the resulting chicks are roughly 1/2 males and 1/2 females. although you need roosters in order to have fertilized eggs, the male to female ratio should be roughly from 1 to 10 to 1 to 25, depending upon the breed of chicken. if you have more roosters than that, the roosters will spend all of their time fighting, and the eggs won’t get fertilized. hence, in a few years, instead of having a thriving egg business, he will have corn flakes and a few hens that are too old to lay.

35 Jack Mehoff August 5, 2010 at 10:43 am

old scenario is old. he got it from 4chan.

36 Heather August 9, 2010 at 11:43 am

O.O

37 Lila September 8, 2010 at 9:13 am

I have to say that the story, is quite disturbing. It started out quite nicely, but then it just plummeted downhill faster than a cart with no brakes.

38 tara September 8, 2010 at 12:35 pm

ha ha..Why are people trying to point out impossibilities in his story? It’s unreal to begin with, the unreal answer is relevant to the unreal scenerio, therefore able to be laughed at, and not picked apart. :)

39 Lawl November 17, 2010 at 7:02 pm

lmao. you guys are all stupid. This is obviously a fake story, so no reason to try to explain why it couldn’t happen.

-as far as i know, there isn’t an infinite supply of cornflakes anywhere-

40 Katt November 22, 2010 at 10:10 am

Wow……That was pretty good. I would do the same.

41 Kimmy Palmer December 22, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Haha, epicc.(:

42 Kimmy Palmer December 22, 2010 at 4:47 pm

To all the people who have no imagination,
Who cares if the story could not be real? Well, besides you.This guy has a great imagination, lets let him make this happen. It’s a good thing to have an imagination so you stay sane. If there was no imnagination, people would give up all the time. We would not have anything. Not even the very computer we are typing on.

43 Jesseh January 21, 2011 at 5:37 am

I don’t think he’s psycho, it’s better to be a very creative & violent writer because people love that schtuff. Look at Stephen King or The Girl w/ The Dragon Tattoo etc. Plus, this if freaking funny because he knows it’s not going to happen, I know it’s not going to happen – & chances are he’s a good person. Lmfao, oh you P.C. uncreative neonatal primates. Imagination is more important than knowledge – Einstein. He’s thinking outside of the box, the social norm – are you all sheep? Are war games involving violence, murder, and blood any better? The fact that it was full of satire that makes no sense indicates that it is creative satire. Plus, there is no character count when leaving replies. It just does that think where you click to see the rest of the comment.

44 Eliza March 26, 2011 at 6:14 pm

wow.. words can’t describe how offended the last part made me. I mean, ok. So, the beginning of the story was pretty amusing. But once this guy started talking about beating the shit out of a woman, then tying her up and raping her… He crossed the line. This is probably one of the most disturbing things I have read online… And the fact that people are commenting on how amazing this is, just shows how desensitized and ignorant people are these days about important evils that are going on in the world.. I mean, really…. Try opening up a narrative about a women WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE SAME THING (i.e, suffered through the traumatic and life changing experience of being beaten, raped and almost murdered). This shit is not funny.

45 SidneyIam April 1, 2011 at 8:23 am

Wow imagination dude!!! Seriously how the hell did he come up with this?!

46 Kodie August 2, 2011 at 6:49 am

tl;dr

47 some guy August 2, 2011 at 9:17 am

@lame
they cropped the sepperate msg boxes out.

48 marv September 7, 2011 at 9:09 pm

that is one sick fuck and should be locked up before he really rapes and kills people.

49 USSR September 21, 2011 at 5:39 pm

I would take the chickens and redistribute them according to the need of the other people of the island.

50 Davis November 14, 2011 at 8:10 pm

I would only need two boxes of cereal. I would begin my journey by devouring the chickens alive, and eating the cereal boxes, and then the cereal that was inside the boxes. I would then regurgitate my food I ate not 30 minutes ago and wait for about an hour, only to repeat the process again, save the chickens won’t be live this time :) A much simpler plan if I do say so myself.

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